Just a mugger.

I was walking home from work and I was accosted by a man in a suit and tie wielding a knife!

I exclaimed "Yikes, what do you want?"
The mugger said "Give me your Wallet!"
I replied, "Oh, is that all. You scared me."
Mugger said, "Cause I'm holding a knife?"
I replied, "No, Because I thought you were a investment banker."

Obama visits GM

President to Tour Chevy Volt plant.

This is going to be a field day for punsters.

• An electrifying tour.
• Got a charge out it.
• The tour sparked interest.
• The President saw a lot of potential.
• The President saw Watts up at GM.

Government

"It is a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for!"

I am not sure whether to cry of laugh at that.

Who said that? and Related Pith.

Safe not allowed.

Overheard:

Brother Joseph asks, "Why are safes not allowed in the church for holding the tithings and offerings?

Brother Smith replies , "Why is that ?"

Brother Joseph answers, "We can't have secret combinations in church. "

2 Priests talking.

One Priest was talking shop with another.

"I was just counciling one of the young men, and
I am not sure what to make of him. "
"How so?"
"He's Praying for the patience of Job, and the Wisdom of Solomon"

"So what's the problem?"

"Well he seems half way there already. Because he is praying to god he has the the wisdom of Job. However he suffers from the patience of Solomon. "

Playing with Ants.

My wife hates ants.
I don't know how much they have cost me.
I've never given them much thought, I figured they were cleaning out the food crumbs my borders were scattering round the kitchen when the ate their pizza pockets.

My house mate, Rigged up a battery and was zapping the ants that wandered onto the metal sink in the kitchen.

I told him It was OK for him to play Thor with the ants, but I didn't want him getting out his mini-giant Costco hand held light house beacon and playing Ra the Egyptian sun god.